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We had it to ourselves that July day. Our intent was to hike in the woods, eat a picnic lunch, and return to town in the early evening. We set off toward a clearing in the woods where we could spread our blanket. We laid out the food and were enjoying the meal and a little wine we’d purloined from the cabin. While we ate, the sky slowly filled with clouds and it became apparent that the weather was turning. It began to rain, gently at first, just a sprinkle. But it intensified and the warm rain grew heavier. We scurried to collect our belongings. We hadn’t brought umbrellas, and were too far from the cabin to avoid getting wet. But we were young and happy, and the rain dripping down off our heads and down our clothes was just part of the experience. When we found the safety of the cabin, we were soaked but laughing over our predicament.Melissa was dressed in a thin t-shirt and shorts. I hadn’t noticed as we scurried through the woods, but once in the cabin I realized how. We could always make a baby later, when we knew I was ready.So many emotions washed over me, doubt, wonder, love, sadness. I wasn’t sure what to make of it all. If I decided to keep the child my life would change forever. There was no turning back after that. If Ilse and I had a child together, I would have to marry her too. I’d be changing diapers, have restless nights with a crying baby waking me up, and I’d be running from left to right to take care of things for Ilse.Additionally, my family would also be very upset with me, for impregnating a woman who was on welfare, who already had two kids, and who didn’t even hold a steady job. Next to that, I also considered the other social, financial, and emotional implications of having a child.In short, my life would get very complicated. So many thoughts and emotions flooded me in such a short time, that the impact of Ilse’s suggestion overwhelmed me. It took me a moment before I reached a conclusion.I held Ilse’s hands in my own and.
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